The Cost of Truth and Lies
by doctorwhogirl11
Summary: "Whether or not you believe me Shepard, the truth has a cost, just like lies do." Some things are too cruel to speak of. This is the story of Ridley Winter, spanning ME1. This story might get a little... too much (as in torture, death, etc.), so if you're not okay with that, just don't click. My first fanfic so be nice. Please. Mostly Shepard and Ridley POV.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is my first fanfic, so go easy on me. Plus, I don't have a beta, so **really **go easy on me. This story is T right now, but I'll upgrade to M later. It'll probably span all of the first Mass Effect game. Thanks!

doctorwhogirl11

**Shepard POV**

He's giving me the Normandy. The _Normandy_. Anderson keeps talking, and I know I should listen, but the _Normandy. _I suddenly felt guilty for tuning him out and try to focus on what he's been saying.

Feros and Noveria… geth activity, good place to start... go to Therum, Liara T'Soni, the Matriarch's daughter…

"…I know you've been putting a team together yourself, but there's someone I think would be interested." Anderson continued, sparking my interest.

"Who?"

"Ridley Winter,"

Garrus nearly did a double take at the name.

"The Ridley Winter? You can't be serious. Why would she join us?"

"She has some beef with Saren. You mention the name, it'll catch her attention."

"I don't get it. Who is Ridley Winter?" I honestly wasn't following.

"One of the greatest assassins in the galaxy and the strangest one. She only kills for governments, but she's well worth it. She always finishes a job." Garrus replied with a mix of admiration and fear in his voice.

"Where would she be Anderson? What planet?"

"She was seen on the Citadel an hour ago, actually. Finishing up a job. She'll probably be at the Presidium. If not, go to the wards."

"How will we know her?"

"Oh, you'll know. Trust me."

"Thanks, Anderson. For everything."

"You're welcome. Give Saren a good kicking for me, would you?"

"Yes, sir."

We said our goodbyes and headed straight for the elevator. 

When the elevator opened to the Presidium, I honestly didn't know what to expect.

"When he says we'll 'know her when we see her' what does that mean?" Tali asked, daunted.

"I guess we'll know her when we see her." I replied, making my way through the Embassies.

All of the sudden, There was a commotion above us, with gunfire and banging. I drew my pistol, not sure what to expect.

A salarian dropped down, running away from someone. Seconds later, we saw that someone. A human woman dropped down, pistol drawn, her back to us. The salarian fired a few shots in her direction, but she dodged them and took cover behind a Citadel Embassies sign.

Garrus aimed his sniper rifle, but I signaled for them to put their guns away. She could handle this.

"I'm not going back!" The salarian manically spoke, "I won't!"

"Your government says otherwise, Alaam. You killed ten people. You don't honestly think they'd let you go?" The woman asked, calmly and coolly.

"I outsmarted them so far! I'll always outsmart them! No one can keep up with my intellect!"

"I'm standing here aren't I? You may be STG, but you're not a genius."

"You'll be disposed of easily."

The woman lowered her pistol and came out of cover. _What the hell is she doing? _Is all I could think.

"Is she insane?!" Tali cried.

"No. Ridley always has a plan. You'll see." Garrus replied, confident. I wasn't so sure. Assassins are good, sure, but her plan seemed to have taken a turn for the insane.

"I don't wanna fight, Alaam. It took me three days to track you down," She spoke with a strange confidence and holstered her pistol, "I'll make you a deal. Your government told me dead or alive, they just want you back. How about we make it alive? Sure beats a bullet in the brain." Her logic was solid and resounding.

But the salarian held his ground.

"No! I go back, they'll do things to me worse than death! NO!" It was getting more and more obvious this guy was beyond unstable, he was a menace.

"If I take you back and put in a good word, tell them to give you imprisonment instead, would that do it? I don't want to kill you, Alaam. I have a lot of respect for STG operatives. Even more so than Spectres." So. She doesn't like Spectres. That's not a good sign for me or Saren.

"NO! Imprisonment?! Are you kidding me? No way!" The salarian had had enough, I could tell. He fired his pistol right at the woman's head.

I thought for sure she was dead, but she turned so she was right shoulder facing the salarian, pistol drawn. The shot impacted with the Citadel Embassies sign and the woman fired her pistol right at the salarian's head.

He fell to the ground, dead. The woman made a sound like a sigh.

Suddenly, a group of salarians materialized out of nowhere.

"Thank you Ms. Winter," The leader said to the woman as his team picked up the dead salarian. _Alaam, _I thought, _his name was Alaam, _"We came as fast we could."

They both accessed their omni-tools; "Here is your payment, as was agreed. The STG thanks you for your cooperation and help." And with that, he scurried off to join his friends.

The woman closed her omni-tool and turned away from us, obviously deep in thought.

I took my chance and walked toward her. _What should I say? Hey, my name's Commander Shepard and I want you to help take down the geth, Saren, and the Reapers, whom the Council don't even think exist?_

No, that won't do. I'll just walk up to her and figure it out from there.

As I approached her, I took note of her features. Even from her backside, it was obvious she was beautiful. She had long black hair tied up in a ponytail, and she had alabaster skin. She was slim and agile. She wore simple black armor and carried a sniper and assault rifles, submachine gun, pistol, and a shotgun. It was obvious this woman meant business.

"Ridley Winter?" I went with the simple approach.

"Who wants to know?" I took note of her voice; a slight British accent, but also very American.

"Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy."

She didn't turn around. "I know of you."

"What do you mean?"

"Because of Mindoir and Akuze, you have earned a reputation as a survivor. I'm also a very informed person. Your appointment as the first human Spectre may have been a rushed affair, but it's already reaching the ears of everyone in the galaxy. Also, you're taking on Saren." She turned her head to the side, "I took a… personal interest."

She turned around fully, revealing the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. They were luminous, but they carried a weight to them, some hidden feeling I couldn't put my finger on.

"But I'm more interested in what the Alliance wants with me. The don't commission contracts from me, they have their own people to do that. So what do they want?"

"Anderson mentioned you. He said if you heard the name Saren, you'd want to join."

"He was right. There's been bad blood between Saren and me. I never liked him, even before he went evil."

"So you'll join our campaign against him and the geth?" I was hoping she'd say yes. Her skills were incredible.

"And the Reapers?" I knew it was coming, but I didn't sense any sarcasm.

"Yes, the Reapers too. Do you think they're a myth, too?"

"Actually, I believe you. Someone has to have a lot of time on their hands to come up with a lie like that." _She believes me? Awesome!_

She spoke again. "So I'd be serving under you?"

Oh, no. She's an assassin. This is going to be a problem. "Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"

"On the contrary. I like you, Shepard. You've been through some tough stuff. I'll serve under you and take the mission gratis, but one condition."

"Anything."

She took a step closer. "I have morals. Some people think I don't just because I kill for a living, but I do. If you ask me to go against them in any way, I'll be able to leave right away. Agreed?" She held out her hand.

After I had collected my thoughts, I shook her hand. "Agreed."

She looked satisfied. "Okay then. Where's your ship?"

I smirked. This mission just got more interesting, if that was possible.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! I know only a few people have read this, but I have a follow! Yay! Anyway, I'll try and post every few days, but sometimes I get distracted by another topic and might write about it. So, I apologize in advance. Thanks!

**Ridley POV**

Log Entry 66, 2183:

The Alliance knows how to make ships. I always knew the turians could, how else would they have the greatest military in the galaxy? But the Alliance? Never saw it coming. I have to say, this is a colorful crew, with a turian, quarian, and krogan in addition to a normal Alliance crew.

Tali's nice, tough, smart, I'd even go so far as spunky, but still a kid on her pilgrimage. She's figuring out who she is. The two days I've been on this ship, I've talked to her five times about everything, spanning omni-tools to practical applications of biotics in engineering. It was fascinating. Seriously. Quarians are brilliant as a race.

I also spent a lot of time with the turian, Garrus. He thinks the ends justifies the means. Though I disagree, he's an exemplary sharpshooter. And he doesn't like the way C-Sec operates. We agree on a lot of things, a lot of issues, but he can't get over his mentality that getting things done fast is better than getting things done right. He's still a great guy to have a drink with.

Wrex doesn't say much, but I can tell from his scars and his demeanor he was a leader on Tuchanka. He and I have a lot of things in common; we've both killed, we both don't like to talk about our pasts, and we both have scars. He's also a krogan. For some reason krogans have always liked me.

The pilot, Joker, is a riot. Our first conversation went from him asking who I'd killed to him asking me for a bottle of my 'special' whiskey from Meridia 9. That stuff will make you fall right over. I won't give it to him. He's one of those 'big talk, small action' guys.

Kaidan Alenko. A nice guy. A little folksy for my taste, but tells the best stories. He's Canadian, too. He's also the best judge of character. I'm not sure he knows what to make of me. He thinks he should be scared, but he also acknowledges I'm being friendly to the rest of the crew and have even gotten Joker to like me (A magnificent feat, by the way).

Then there's Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. There's something about her I undeniably respect. Her family is condemned in the Alliance because of Shanxi, but herself and her family have still stayed a part of it, resolutely and unfalteringly. There's something both admirable and stupid about that. They should be given a medal. But I like Ashley, regardless of her family. I really do. She's a true solider. Someone with a sense of honor you don't find anymore. Someone you can rely on.

And we come to Commander Shepard. He's an enigma. He's a soldier first, a leader secondly, and a friend thirdly. Men, soldiers, _people, _like Shepard don't exist anymore. I respect him. He's also very funny. Didn't expect that. But there's something about him… I don't know, I just don't get.

I was roused from my logging by a voice.

"Ridley?" It asked tentatively.

"Yeah, Shepard?"

"What happened to the procurement officer?"

"I didn't kill him or anything, if that's what you're asking. I just stole his desk." I stated, smug.

Shepard crossed his arms, looking extremely disapproving, "Where is he?"

"On the Citadel." Shepard looked like he was ready to strangle me.

"You just left him there?"

"No, I deferred him to Alliance Command. Honestly, I'm disappointed in your opinion of me. I didn't just leave him to the wolves."

"On who's authority did you boot him off the ship?"

"Yours." He looked like he was about to explode. It was quite funny. I shouldn't have been entertained by this conversation, but I _so _was.

"Are you serious?"

"Look, when you compare me, a professional assassin with contacts like the Shadow Broker, Asari councilor, turian government, STG, etc. etc., to an Alliance procurement officer, who do you think matches up better?"

"You, obviously." He replied, begrudgingly.

"Now you see my point. Besides, the guy reeked of rookie-hood. You don't want someone like that on a prototype warship."

"Is rookie-hood even a thing?"

"It is in my book."

"Okay…" He looked unsure of what to say next.

"What's it like, being a professional assassin?" He abruptly asked.

I sighed, not sure how to explain. "It's not what you'd think."

"Then what is it?" He wasn't going to go away, is he?

I tried to reason an answer, "People think that if a person kills for long enough, they grow numb to it. I've been doing this for thirteen years and I'm still not numb. I don't think I ever will be. Mercenaries are the ones forget who they kill. Assassins don't."

"Mercenaries and assassins are different?"

I scoffed, "Of course we're different. That's like asking 'what's the difference between an elcor and a batarian?' We're not the same at all. Mercenaries are usually the same, more brutes than anything else."

"Assassins aren't brutes, I know that. But you both kill for living-"

"Mercenaries do more than kill Shepard. They kidnap, smuggle, and enslave. Mercenaries are usually all of the same mold. Every assassin is different. We each have our own style, our own way of dealing with what we do. But you will never find a guiltless assassin." He was seriously getting on my nerves. I couldn't even stand to look at him anymore. I turned around to stare at my commandeered desk. _You asked for this, _I told myself, _you knew he had a rock hard moral center. _

"This is something you feel deeply about?" He asked after a tense few minutes of silence.

"Yes."

"Can I ask why?"

I whipped around, "Because I don't kill because I like it Shepard, I kill because it's what I'm best at. That's the difference."

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe the only thing you're good at is killing!" He challenged, pushing me to my breaking point.

"Maybe so, but I've been in this business far too long to back out and you know that. So just accept there's a difference between assassins and mercenaries and we can call this conversation a success." I retorted back, aggravated beyond measure. It was amazing that this man that I had only known for two days had already challenged my beliefs.

"You know, you're right. Assassins are different and do have their own style, because I can't imagine anyone in the universe _ever _being like you. You're in a league of you own."

He walked away after that, leaving me with the question of whether his remark was meant as a compliment or an insult.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry guys, I know I've been dragging my heels on this, but I'm expecting a pop quiz any day now in English and I want to be prepared. Please review. I honestly wanna know what you guys think. Also, thanks for all the support. Okay, here's chapter three!

**Shepard POV**

I had never met someone as frustrating as Ridley Winter. She's self-righteous, but not self-serving. She teases me every time I talk to her, and then she had the nerve to throw one of my crew off this ship! Even if she was right about her being the better choice and has one of the most impressive records I've ever seen, she was still so far out of line I couldn't even see her. But she is all of those things, so I need her. If only she wasn't so stubborn! I swear-

"Commander?" Joker piped in, his voice filling my once quiet quarters.

I ran my hands down my face, collecting myself. I'd figure out what to do about Ridley later.

"Yeah?"

"We're approaching Therum."

"I'll be right there." Here we go.

Squad selection wasn't nearly as tricky as I thought it would be. I took Garrus, an infiltrator, and Ridley, a vanguard like myself. It's strange. Her file said "Vanguard class but adaptable to any situation." What does that even mean? I decided to go with it until I picked up on what they meant by "adaptable".

After a long and seemingly unending ride in the Mako, we climbed out on to the terrain.

"So that's Alliance class transport?" Ridley asked, stretching her neck, "Even the krogan have better modes of transportation and Tuchanka is the embodiment of a shithole."

"You're right, there are some crappy shock-absorbers in there." Garrus replied, doing what I guessed was the turian equivalent of a grimace.

"We can discuss Alliance transport later. Right now, let's get a move on." There were too many geth guarding this facility for us to get careless.

As we made our way to the facility's entrance, I heard the familiar guttural sound of a geth above. _What the hell is that?! _Was all I could muster in my thoughts when I saw the stalker. I aimed at it, but it moved to quickly. Geth started dropping in, and the Armature hit the ground with a _boom. _

"Take cover!" I yelled, and my squad scattered around me. Garrus lined up his sniper shots on the surrounding geth, I aimed for the stalkers and the Armature, Ridley joining me.

Between the three of us, we knocked out most of the surrounding geth, but the Armature wasn't going down without a fight. Ridley warped the last geth, and pulled her shotgun, charging on the Armature. At first, I had no idea what she was doing, but then I realized, _she's drawing the Armature's fire! _

"Garrus! Cover me!" I yelled, heading to flank the damn thing. With my and Ridley's combined biotics, we successfully took down the Armature.

"Good work." I said, hoping to show my approval.

"It was?" Garrus said at the same as Ridley pushed past, saying, "Yep." _Ladies and gentlemen, galactic diversity, _I thought, smirking to myself.

We opened the entrance to a dank tunnel going down inside.

"Inviting," Ridley remarked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

I replied, "It's an archeological dig. What did you expect?"

"A red carpet?"

"Sure." I replied, equally sarcastic. We went inside.

The trip down was mostly uneventful except for a few geth and the elevator and ramp being partially destroyed. Huh. I consider that uneventful. When we arrived at the bottom, what we saw was not what I expected. An asari, in a force field. This day just keeps getting better.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" She frantically asked, obviously frazzled.

"Me. Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy." I replied, moving closer.

"Thank goodness you're here. I thought the geth were going to kill me for sure!"

"It's okay now. Are you Liara T'Soni?"

"Yes I am."

"We've been looking for you. We'll get you out of here. If you don't mind me asking, could you disable the force field? We have to get a move on." I replied.

"I'm afraid I can't. This force field is Prothean. I thought I knew how to control it, but I must have hit something I shouldn't have, and now I'm… stuck." She said, embarrassed.

"We'll get you out of there. Any ideas how?"

"If you can find a way to get back here, the force field doesn't cover the back."

"Right."

"Wait, Commander," Garrus called out, "are we sure we can trust her? She is Benezia's daughter." He rose a good point.

"No! I am _not _my mother. Whatever it is she did is not my fault!" Liara yelled back, defensive. I was still unsure. What if she was faking?

"You mean you don't know anything?" I asked.

"Nothing." She replied.

Ridley stepped forward, seemingly examining Liara. "You can trust her." She confidently said.

I examined my options, deciding that mistrusting Ridley's judgment was unwise and I also shouldn't judge Liara on her mother's sins.

"Come on, let's get you out of there." Liara visibly relaxed, and Ridley wore a small smile.

After a little poking and prodding below, we found the mining laser. "Oh, yes!" Ridley said, "This could work. Garrus?"

"Big lasers. I take back all of my protesting coming down here. This thing is well worth it."

We used the laser to carve an entrance, revealing an elevator. We rode it up to Liara silently.

As soon as we arrived, Liara spoke: "How did you get in here? I didn't think there was any way past!"

"We used a mining laser." I replied.

"Wait… what?"

"Stranger things have happened," Ridley said, smirking.

I released Liara from the trap she had triggered. "Thank you so much!" She exclaimed, "I thought I'd never get out of there!"

"Any idea how we get out?" Garrus asked.

"There is an elevator back at the center of the tower. Or I think it's an elevator."

"Let's get a move on."

When we got to the elevator, Liara spoke, "I still can't believe all this. What do the geth want with me? Does it have something to do with my mother?"

"You're a Prothean expert, right? Saren probably wants you to help him find the Conduit." Garrus replied, telling a half-truth.

"The Conduit? I don't even know what-"

All of the sudden, the ground started to shake.

"What was that?" Ridley asked.

"These ruins are unstable. The mining laser must have triggered something. We have to hurry!"

I contacted the Normandy, "Joker! Lock on to my position and get here! ASAP! The ruins are caving in!"

"Yes, sir. On our way, ETA eight minutes!" Joker replied.

"He better make it here in time." Ridley said. I hoped so too.

The elevator started moving, and we were going up.

Final Report, Mission: Therum

After diplomatic relations with the krogan battlemaster and geth were unsuccessful, the battlemaster commenced a battle. In a few minutes, we overtook them with Dr. T'Soni's assistance. While we had been fighting, the condition in the area had worsened. The seismic event was reaching it's peak and the ruins were caving in at a rapid rate. We all (Dr. T'Soni included) made it out of the ruins without being harmed. The Normandy picked us up and remaining geth were trapped in the ruins.

-Report End-


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! I love the support! I promise I'll try to pick up the pace. I had strep throat, so I felt extremely terrible and then my computer broke… ughh it was a nightmare. But guys, reviews are lovely! I need all the help I can get. So without further ado, here's Chapter 4!

**Ridley POV**

_I don't understand, I don't understand…_

_The room is dark, the only light coming from a window on the side. All I hear are cruel voices speaking, 'she's not ready', 'too young', 'never attempted at this age', 'she won't survive'. What do you mean, 'I won't survive'? What am I supposed to survive?_

_Suddenly, a voice fills the room through a speaker, "Termination test 31, subject is of nine years, the feral is of twelve."_

_Feral? What's a feral? Am I the subject? I don't understand… Please, tell me what's happening!_

_A door creaks open on the other side of the room, but does not bring light in it's wake. I hear footsteps walking towards me, but I don't see the source. _

"_The test has begun," the voice finishes, almost forlornly, sorrowful. What test! This isn't like the others._

_A figure walks into what little light is in the room. When I see who it is, I am confused. Aghast._

"_Toby?" I say, puzzled as to why my friend looks so… primal. _

_His eyes are filled with a look I've never seen before. It's filled with… instinct. Filled with hatred… for me, for everything. _

"_Toby, what's wrong?" I ask, frightened. He's acting like an animal. The only reply to my question is a hiss. I feel sick. _

_Toby hurtles toward me, arms outstretched, intent to kill in his eyes, and a hiss sliding out of his mouth._

_What? Toby, what are you doing? You're my friend. Why are you looking at me like that? What has happened? My thoughts swirl, out of order._

_I find myself pinned against the wall, Toby's hands at my throat. The rest of the world falls away, and all I think is… survive. My hands encircle his neck and my thoughts limit to one thought, different from survive. I feel like a child, I feel myself falling away, I can only focus on one thing, one thought:_

_I don't understand… I don't understand…_

_And then I twist._

I awake with a start. Another nightmare. They seem to be getting worse. My body is covered in sweat, and my heart still pounds. No matter what I do, I can't forget what happened. I get out of bed and move as quietly as I can to my footlocker without waking up anyone else in the crew quarters.

I grab my special whiskey and leave the room, too pumped full of adrenaline to even think of going back to sleep. Nightmares do that.

The mess hall seems empty enough when I come out, but a voice startles me when I pass the table.

"Can't sleep?" the voice asks, more serious than teasing.

I turn and see Liara's contemplative face.

"Yeah," I say, setting the bottle down on the table and give her a look, "You too?"

"Mmm," she says, as she pulls the bottle to her to examine it, "I take it you took the label off of this bottle for a reason?" she continues as I go to fetch two glasses.

"Not for illegal reasons, I assure you. I just find that drinking games are so much more fun when your opponent doesn't know what they're drinking," I reply with a smirk, handing her a glass.

"Well, you've lucked out on me. I'm not very good at drinking games," she says, with a hint of amusement.

"No worries, I'm not in the mood anyway," I say, pouring us our drinks.

"Is the reason for that what made you be awake at this hour?"

I look into my glass, as if searching for the answer to her question in the fiery whiskey's depths, "Maybe."

"Is that Ridley code for yes?

"'Ridley code'? Seriously Liara?"

"Just trying to have a bit of fun. But really, why are you awake?"

"I'll tell you if you tell me."

She sits in silence for a few moments, as if planning her words with expert precision.

"I'm just trying to get used to the ship, I guess. And the sleeper pods. By the way, why don't you use them? The sleeper pods."

"I don't like them. Too isolating. I prefer a bed. It's probably a force of habit as well." We sip the whiskey,contemplative and a silence ensues.

"What is it that woke you up?" she asks, startling me and causing me to look off in the distance.

"Something I tried to forget. Something that I don't think I ever can forget."

She nodded, trying to understand. "I think I know how you feel. I've seen some terrible things, but nothing really horrific. It's different for you though, as an assassin you must have been in more than a few unfavorable places.

I smirked. If she only knew. I sipped my whiskey, letting the sultry taste overwhelm me. I suddenly felt the need to raise my glass to something, anything, if only to banish the memory of my nightmare. As I lifted my glass, so did she. "To terrible things, and conquering them." I said in a condemning voice. She nodded her head, and we drained our glasses.


	5. Chapter 5

Sooo… I thought I should hurry up and get another chapter out since you waited so patiently for the other one. I know it's been a week, but I've had a lot of stuff going on. Thanks so much for caring and reading! Remember, reviews make me go way fatser! This chapter will expand on Shep and Ridley's relationship, and I think you'll find their dynamic interesting. Presenting… Chapter 5!

**Shepard POV**

This was strange. When we landed on Feros at Zhu's Hope, I wasn't sure what we would find. But it definitely wasn't what we did find. Those people were being hit by the geth, and _hard. _Despite their assurances, there was something up with that place. I'd also been getting up on a weird vibe around the colony. Like they were covering something up.

Even Wrex was picking up on it. And Ridley, well, she just had that look on her face. The same look she gets when she's judging a person, calculating, but not cold.

Ridley is the most interesting person I've ever met. She gives off the façade of trust and comfortableness, but the minute you ask her a truly probing question, she deflects it, instead probing you with questions.

And then there are her scars, some jagged, some clean-cut, some small, some large. I've only seen a few of them, but they are impressive, and painful-looking. There are so many mysteries about our resident professional killer that I spend most of my time musing on where she could've trained or where she came from. She doesn't seem to be ex-Alliance, and she said once she was a colony kid, like me, but besides that, her life story is blank to me.

But there's something about her. Sure, she's mysterious and sexy, but it's more than that. She has this way about her, a kind of grace. She gets along with damn near everybody on the ship, even Wrex. They seem to have found some kind of common ground with each other. Probably has something to do with their shady pasts or a mutual love of destroying things.

As we talked to the colonists tediously, I found my eyes drifting to her subconsciously. Like she was pulling me to her. It had been like that the entire mission.

Clearing the tower was relatively easy, but I was still racking my brain as to why the geth were here. The colonists said they didn't find anything of value, but this is an ExoGeni colony. They are notorious for their antics and don't invest in anything without foreseeable profit.

My mind started to wander as we talk to Davin Reynolds, but I tried to focus. After I apparently offend him about something or other, he launches into a lecture about his colony and how unfair all of this is, and after that my mind is lost to me, roaming the space around me, muddled and unfocused.

It came to rest as it had the entire day, on Ridley's face. But that time, I was too bored to tear my eyes away and pay any attention to what that self-righteous colonist had to say. She, however, seemed to be paying attention to the man, obviously absorbing the information and making an opinion on him, like she does with everyone she meets.

My eyes began to move of their own accord, dragging along my mind with them. They studied her hair, out of its usual ponytail for this mission, instead falling down to its actual length, just past her shoulders. I felt myself become mesmerized by her appearance.

My eyes veered to her nose, elegant and small, which led me to her lips. At this point, I had no control over my thoughts or anything else for that matter, and I wondered what it would be like to kiss those lips.

My brain and my eyes didn't seem to be listening to me when I briefly snapped out of my reverie to realize what I had just thought. But by that time, my mind was enraptured by the woman standing next to me. It admired her jaw, her lithe figure. It was hard to imagine how powerful and lightning fast that body was just by looking at it.

My eyes came back up to look into her own eyes, and I felt myself become even more entranced. They were a blue, a deep blue, like the bottom of the ocean. They defined her entire face and added to her beauty. While I was beguiled by the enormity of her appearance, the man stopped talking- _what was his name? Reynolds? _– and I tore my eyes from Ridley's face and thanked the man for his time.

As we walked away, I snuck a glance at Ridley to see if she had noticed my previous intense gaze, but she had her usual anticipating and searching face on. I knew right then and there I wouldn't be able to focus, no matter what this mission threw at us.

…

That turned out to be a lie.

"On your left!" Ridley shouted at me, and I fired anti-Thorian gas at the incoming colonists.

The way we got to this point is long and complicated, and would probably take at least an hour to explain, so I'll make it short and sweet.

While we were taking the mako up to the ExoGeni facility, we ran into a group of people even _more _paranoid than the ones we met at the original colony. We talked to them for a little while, but the only thing we could get from them was that there was something secretive about this colony, and they were all hiding it.

When we got to the facility, we met a few geth (nothing we couldn't handle) and the daughter of a doctor we met at the makeshift encampment. She was the one who finally tell us what was going on. This Thorian thing that we're fighting now is a plant with telepathic powers. A little far-fetched, I know.

Once we figured that out, we made our way back to the colony (not before having an armed confrontation with those ExoGeni scientists. Turned out a few of them went insane) and en route we met a few of the Thorian's cronies, creepers. They looked alarmingly like husks.

We've come to the point where myself, Ridley, and Wrex are armed with anti-Thorian gas grenades and tried as hard as possible not to shoot the colonists (who had gone kinda insane, if you didn't get that already).

As soon as the last colonist fainted due to the gas, I ran to the controls, and used them to lift the freighter, exposing a staircase leading down.

Not long after, Fai Dan showed up with a pistol, but strangely enough, he looked more in control than the other colonists. I checked my grenade number and saw that I'd used them all. _Shit. _

Fai chose that precise moment to speak, and my head jerked up, "I was supposed to protect them…" he managed to get out, and it seemed as if he was on the verge of tears. He struggled with himself, an internal war obviously occurring.

"I couldn't protect… ExoGeni… I didn't know until it was too late. It's too strong, we never stood a chance…" He looked as if he was in pain, and winced every so often.

"The Thorian? Is that what you're talking about?" I asked, grappling for an answer as to where the plant was.

He grunts, his words coming in a rush, "Yes… it controls us, it has a hold over us. We do whatever it says. Whatever it says…" As he trailed off, his eyes lowered to the pistol, slowly lifting it inch by inch to my face. Ridley stood nearby, her gun trained on Dan with deadly precision.

"You don't have to do this! Fight it, you know you can!" I yelled at him, desperate not to take the measures Ridley was expecting.

"I can't…" he blinked, trying to fight the Thorian, but losing horribly.

"We can help, we can kill it, make it let you and the rest of the colonists go! Just trust me, Dan." I yelled at him, taking steps forward.

"It's… it's too strong! I can't fight it anymore! I failed to protect them… I failed…" he looked to be in a rage, his internal battle reaching its climax.

"Dan, please-" But I was cut off by his pistol being raised.

"No! I will not be a pawn! I will not disgrace Zhu's Hope any longer! I will not kill our only hope of returning to normal!" Before I could say anything, he lifted his pistol and took the shot, but it wasn't at me or my squad. He had shot himself.

I turned to Ridley, "Did you… see that coming?"

"Not really," she said with a shocked face. She quickly strode over to the staircase leading eerily downwards, "Who wants to go down first?"

"I don't know, maybe you should go first." Wrex replied, smirking in his krogan way. The one where he could snap your neck in the next second, or buy you a round of alcohol.

"I vote we just get on with it," I said, eager to just get off of Feros and back on my ship.

"Agreed." Ridley stated with a smirk. _Her lips… Snap out of it, man! You have to go kill a hostile plant. You can't daydream about her, no matter how much you want to! _As my thoughts argued with themselves, we took our steps into the musty underground.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm so sorry this took so long! It was midterms and then spring break so I had no time. So, I know the last chapter was a little discombobulated, but that's what happens when you make last revisions at midnight on a Tuesday. I think that this one will be better (I hope). Also guys, tell me what you think of Ridley, her relationship with Shepard, or my writing, I want to know what's going on in those heads of yours. Chapter 6, peeps!

**Ridley POV**

"Why weren't you paying attention?!" Shepard snapped at me, obviously pissed.

"Look Shepard, I get you're angry, but what happened isn't because I wasn't paying attention, it's because I was a little busy and so were you and Wrex!" I yelled back, my anger spiking.

"That asari clone got right up behind you, and you say you weren't paying attention?" he asked, his words chock full of sarcasm.

"I was being attacked by those Thorian creepers, I was looking around for a surprise attack." I tried to explain, but Shepard looked like he was going to explode.

"So that clone was able to just get right behind you?"

"Yes, that is what I'm saying."

"Fine, I believe you," Shepard said, "But I don't like it. You nearly fell."

My eyes went soft, "But I didn't. Shepard, I'm fine. That's all that matters."

He stepped closer to me, his eyes full of emotion. "But it was on my watch." he stomped away, his shoulders tense.

As I watched, Ashley walked up behind me.

"I take it things didn't go well?" she said with an eyebrow raised.

"No, it didn't." I said, and then I began to take my armor off again.

"What happened?"

"The thorian. It had an asari prisoner and it decided to make clones of her. I was a little… preoccupied, so one of them was able to get up behind me and push me off the ledge."

"The ledge? Shouldn't you be dead?" I asked, puzzled.

"I managed to grab the ledge at the last second, and flip myself up. Shepard wasn't happy though." I said, stripping the last of my armor.

"I'll say. He looked like he was ready to kill you himself." she said with a laugh.

"He probably was." I sighed, knowing that our relationship had taken a fatal blow.

Ashley returned to her workstation, snickering. As I looked around, I set eyes on Garrus and decided that he, more than anyone else, would understand.

"Hey Garrus."

"Hey Ridley. That was a nice argument over there."

"Yeah, I know."

"I heard what you told Ash."

"Are you on Shepard's side or mine."

"Officially, I'm not on anyone's side," he began to move a little closer, and lowered his voice, "But unofficially, I agree with you. You can handle yourself, Ridley."

"Thanks for seeing things my way." she said with a small smile.

"Don't think I'm on your side though. Shepard had a good reason to be angry." Garrus says.

"Like what?" I ask, fuming.

"You have gotten yourself killed." he said in a grave tone. "You're nimble Ridley, but that was a ledge. He's your commanding officer, and he's responsible for you."

"I know." I said, feeling like Garrus had made a good argument.

"Besides, don't beat yourself up about this Ridley. You and Shepard will be back to disagreeing about everything in no time."

I offered a small smile, and Garrus walked over to the Mako, successfully ending the conversation. As I stood in contemplation for a few more moments, I realized that I wasn't even bothered by the fact that Shepard was my commanding officer. When I had first come aboard the Normandy, that fact had driven me up the wall. For fourteen years, I've been on my own. _Fourteen._ To go from that to having a commander and following orders… It was not a seamless transition.

But now… It was almost comfortable, natural. And Shepard was not normal Alliance material. He understood that you need to bend the rules sometimes, but he also kept to his own strict moral code and principles. Being on his team was one of the most honorable things I'd ever done. And I realized, by some twist of fate, Shepard had become my friend.


End file.
